Saturday 28 February 2009

Mean what you say; else more than a heart would be broken ...

To all my loyal readers (if there are any), my apologies for being M.I.A for some time. From my previous post, it may have appeared apparent to some of you the sort of ordeal and dilemma I was going through. Yes. I was in a relationship, a wonderful relationship but it ended rather abruptly, shockingly and, personally I believe, without mercy.

It would take countless postings to chronicle my love affair. We had tread to rocky paths in the beginning. On my part, it was a warning from my own mother who said this relationship would not last because of, firstly differences in religion and secondly non-approval of her parents. I had to convince my mom (it took me nearly a month) that all would be well.

Everything was going rosily and wonderfully well. We exchanged limitless SMSes over the nights, spent hours online chatting and even called each other a few times. These experiences were new to me and how great they were!

But the happiest of times were when we actually met up, once a week. I know once a week is not the ideal meeting-up-arrangement between couples but nonetheless, at least a day with each other than none. We talked, we joked ... the usual "couply" stuff.

I remember vividly when I first held her hands. I was so nervous and uncertain I felt like running away. But I mustered courage and held those beautiful, delicate hands and how lovely it was. I felt like I was floating between heaven and earth!

This continued for a couple of months. And then it started. After confessing her love to me and saying that she belongs to me (for those of you who think I'm disclosing too much information of my personal life, I couldn't care less because it is my rights as a human being and a netizen to express whatever I desire) and kissing me on the cheek, she started to avoid me for three days. I SMSed her day after day but to no avail.

Then on that Thursday night, I informed her that I'll wait for her the next day morning so that we can meet and talk things out. She didn't reply my SMS. The next day, I woke up early and went to IOI Mall. I SMSed her again, telling her that I have reached the mall. I waited and waited for nearly 4 hours. She didn't turn up. I spent my hours reading John Grisham's The Broker which was a fantastic read.

Around half past 1, I called her. She answered. I told her that I wanted to see her and talk to her. She said she has to talk to me as well. That is when I foresaw the end of my relationship. After that call, I went to work. That night I called her in the midnight. She said she wanted a break. I asked her what about those things she told me, that she loved me and all that. She boldly and mercilessly told me that she wasn't sure of what she said. And she said other stuff as well.

So, my readers, that is how my relationship, my first love, ended.

My advice to you is that if you are not sure of how you feel towards a person, never ever make them believe in something that is otherwise. Don't tell them that you like them and love them only to take it back and nonchalantly say that you weren't too sure.

Don't do that!

It is merciless and brutal.

Trust me.

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